Wednesday, December 14, 2011


How's my mental health today?

I'm having trouble focusing. I was looking through my published blogs and the drafts I've begun. I realized I've started a lot of threads that I've left dangling without finishing the thought or issue. I've got 9 draft posts consisting primarily of a few brief thoughts and statements. (I do this so I don't lose some of these 'brilliant' ideas - ideas some of which later prove to be not so 'brilliant.)

Now what?

My head feels like it's about to explode!

Do I go back and pick up some up these threads and work them to their conclusions? Or do I ignore them and forge ahead, exploring new ideas, examining other issues and concerns?

How much of this madness is part of my psychiatric disorder and how much of it is just the normal chaos of my insufficiently disciplined life and mind?

A friend recently directed me to the book Echoing Silence; Thomas Merton on the Vocation of Writing. We were having coffee and catching up on each others lives after almost a year of no contact between the two of us. When I mentioned my writing and some of the challenges I'm encountering, my friend suggested I read this book, not just for content but also the author's writing style.

I've cracked the cover of the book and found that I will have to slow down and focus to absorb and process the contents therein. Slowing down, focusing, and concentrating are essential for me to be able to manage my reality.

Balance and moderation. Why is that so difficult for me to achieve?

You can avoid reality, but you cannot 
avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.
― Ayn Rand

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