Monday, November 14, 2011


How's my mental health today?

``Chill ...... You need to just chill today``

"No writing today!"

With these words (directed at me) Heidi left for work.

For 8 days or so, I had been getting increasingly wound up. I was putting out more energy than I had in a long time. It had been several years since I had focused on one task for more than a couple of hours. The previous day I wrote for more than 6 hours.

I was having trouble sleeping because my mind wouldn't shut down. Then I began second guessing myself. The biggest question was, Had I crossed over the line and done things I shouldn't have?

I know from past experience that when my mind begins racing and my mood elevates too high, I can lose sight of boundaries; of what's appropriate, what's realistic, and the need to slow down.

Now I wasn't sure if I had crossed that line again or not. Both Heidi and I knew that if I didn't take a break and slow right down, I would set myself up for the inevitable crash that always follows such an emotional and mental high.

I settled back in my chair and tried to relax. Today would be a day of rest; a day of doing as little as possible, with minimal mental, physical, and emotional stimulation. I wouldn't even prepare dinner, Heidi would pick something up after work. It was a day to read brain candy, ride the bike a bit, and sleep if I could.

It's what I have to do to protect my sanity.

I had previously scheduled a massage  for 9 a.m., that would help begin the relaxation day. Coincidence? I think not! Someone is looking after me.

I'll see what tomorrow brings.

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