Monday, January 16, 2012

Dealing with Clutter

How's my mental health today?

I'm still trying to stay afloat. Some days are better than others.

Living with mental illness has many consequences. I'm trying to clean up some of the consequences of living with disruptive anxiety for many years.

I decided it was time to finish off some of the many projects I started over the course of the years that have remained unfinished. Part of that process involves sorting out files on my computer and external storage devices. I have found a ridiculous number of duplicate file copies - and not just 2 copies but sometimes 3 or 4 or more.

One of the ways my anxiety interfered with my living and working was that I was uncertain of whether or not I had a backup copy of a file. To make sure, I would back the file up. As I upgraded computers (at home and at work) the uncertainty would make another appearance. So I had backup copies on CDROMs, on flashdrives, on external hard drives and on the main drive of my computers.

Now my computer (and peripheral devices) are unnecessarily cluttered.

The culling has begun! I have to fight off the anxiety and fear that I might lose something by deleting a file or files. I constantly have to remind myself to trust the process because I don't take shortcuts - I check everything at least twice before I hit delete. I also need to remember none of this "stuff" is life or death; if it's gone, it's gone - life goes on.

How many other areas of my life are unnecessarily cluttered because I give in to my anxiety? How much "stuff" am I clinging on to and thereby hindering my ability to move forward?

Finishing the incomplete projects (one at a time) will hopefully clean out a lot of the baggage that has accumulated in my battle with anxiety.

I'll let you know how it goes.

“Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. 
You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have.”
— Norman Vincent Peale

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